Back in 1986, The Jamaica Test revealed some very interesting findings about the effect of parental attitudes on children’s behaviour.
Researchers divided the families of 129 children into two groups:
One group received weekly hour-long visits from a trained researcher, who encouraged the parents to spend more quality time with their children — reading, playing games and singing songs.
And the other group received nutritional supplements each week, without the parental coaching.
The results?
The idea of having a favourite child is taboo in what many think of as ‘good parenting’.
It’s often considered to be unfair and problematic, and can be a huge source of guilt for loving, conscientious parents.
But a recent article in The New York Times provides some interesting and different ways of thinking about family favouritism.
Author Perry Klass suggests that playing favourites doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s your actions, and not emotions, that can be problematic.
Here are some key points to keep in mind when it comes to favouring one child over another:
Here’s an interesting question we are occasionally asked:
How can a psychologist understand the difficulties of parenting children, and how to help them overcome emotional challenges, if they don’t have any children of their own?
The answer is simple:
Effective counselling does not depend on the counsellor’s direct personal experience with a particular issue.
So what does it depend on?
The first visit to a new psychologist can be a daunting experience. It’s completely natural to feel nervous about addressing your concerns head on with someone you’ve never met.
And this is especially true when it comes to a child psychologist who will be seeing your child or teenager.
But our clients typically find that taking that first step to come in for an initial 30 minute parent consultation is a very positive and productive step in the right direction.
And we’re here to make the experience as constructive and comfortable as possible.
So, what can you expect from a visit to our practice?
It’s an age-old question that comes up often in our consultations with parents, and it’s not an easy one to answer:
How do we give our children the world, without making them feel entitled to it?
Finding the right balance as a parent will help you to raise a child that will become an independent, confident and capable adult.
Divorce is an emotional rupture.
There is never going to be an easy way to talk to your children about separation and divorce. No two cases are the same, which means that navigating the practical and emotional challenges with your child will depend on your individual circumstances and situation.
And if you are like many of the parents that we see at our practice, you may find yourself feeling totally overwhelmed and wondering where to begin and what to say…
So with that in mind, here are some ideas and suggestions that might be useful to you.
Parenting is a journey!
Along with all the precious moments and unforgettable experiences, there are the inevitable bumps, potholes, and danger zones.
Helping your child solve problems can feel a bit like travelling down a bumpy road … finding dead-end after dead-end … and losing sight of the destination…
And if you’re like most parents we see at our practice?
You probably want your child to feel as though you are working on solving problems together, and not simply lecturing and “ear-bashing” them!
So, with that in mind, here are our top ten tips for navigating your way through the problem-solving minefield, together with your child:
We all worry from time to time, but it can be challenging for parents when a child worries too much…
Some kids may worry a lot about only one thing, such as speaking in front of their classmates…
Other kids may worry about lots of different things…
Such as being late, getting sick, having no one to play with at school, upcoming tests or not being good at sport…
Motivation, or the lack thereof, can be a (seemingly) insurmountable barrier to your child’s success.
Every parent wants their child to succeed.
Whether it’s with their schoolwork, socialising or general life skills, we all want the best for them.
And what do most of us do naturally to spur our kids on?
We praise them for being “smart”, “intelligent”, “bright”, “talented”, “creative” and so on…
And often we do this regardless of whether or not they have truly applied their best efforts to the task at hand.
You see, we think that we are somehow boosting their self-confidence and self-esteem by doing this.
But we are wrong.
Loom bands are possibly just another passing childhood fad but here at Melbourne Child Psychology, we’re fans of the Rainbow Loom for their many therapeutic benefits.
So next time you’re pulling yet another handful of rubber bands from the vacuum cleaner and wondering if this is all just clever marketing, here are some points to ponder to (retrospectively) justify your purchase!
Got any questions before you book? Click here to request a phone call and a psychologist will call you at a convenient time (prospective clients only). Please keep in mind we are often busy with clients but we do our best to respond to all enquiries within one business day. :-)
(*As of 24th July, 2019.)