All parents want to protect their children from the challenges that life throws at them.
And navigating the complicated and highly emotional world of friendship-forming is no different.
But like most ongoing processes of life and growing up, there’s only so much you can do to support their journey, and getting too involved can often do more harm than good.
‘Parents need to view these situations as opportunities to teach their child valuable life lessons‘, says friendship expert Dana Kerford.
Social media is a largely unavoidable aspect of modern life.
And the ways parents monitor their children’s social media presence varies greatly…
Some insist on being ‘online friends’, some sneak through their child’s profiles without their knowing (a post for another day), or some ban social media completely.
But with all the focus we put on trying to protect our children from the many implications of a social media presence…
How much time are we taking to look at the impact of our own?
Losing a loved one is a heartbreaking experience at any age.
And watching our children go through the process can make the experience even more devastating.
It’s a parent’s natural urge to want to shield their children from pain and sadness.
But this isn’t realistic — not during childhood, and not during adulthood.
Loss and sadness are inevitable parts of life, but teaching your children positive and productive coping mechanisms will help them through the process in the short and long term.
So how do we deal with a grieving child?
It may be a confronting question but it’s one that was answered with an emphatic ‘yes’ in a recent blog from The Huffington Post Australia, which also claims your ‘kids will thank you for it’.
And while it seems like the opposite of what is traditionally considered the right approach, the article raises some points worth considering.
So what are the factors that influenced this conclusion, and do we agree?
In a recent blog post, we discussed the issue of family favouritism.
We wanted to reassure parents that having a favourite is part of human nature (and not the same as loving one child more or less than another), and should not be a source of guilt or shame.
What’s important is how you act on your inclination towards one child or the other.
Giving overt extra attention to one child over another can result in cries of ‘but it’s not fair!’.
And ultimately, this can lead to problematic behaviour, resentment, and sibling rivalry…
Which raises an interesting question – how do we define ‘fairness’?
There’s no denying that with all the joys of parenthood there can also be a lot of stress and frustration.
Temper tantrums, complaints and demands… It’s understandable this would try any parent’s patience.
And sometimes the result is an angry outburst.
But unfortunately anger directed towards your child can have a very negative impact on your relationship with them and on their own temperament.
And it can also encourage more acting out or misbehaving.
So how can we better manage our own emotions when it comes to parenting challenges?
The idea of having a favourite child is taboo in what many think of as ‘good parenting’.
It’s often considered to be unfair and problematic, and can be a huge source of guilt for loving, conscientious parents.
But a recent article in The New York Times provides some interesting and different ways of thinking about family favouritism.
Author Perry Klass suggests that playing favourites doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s your actions, and not emotions, that can be problematic.
Here are some key points to keep in mind when it comes to favouring one child over another:
Divorce is an emotional rupture.
There is never going to be an easy way to talk to your children about separation and divorce. No two cases are the same, which means that navigating the practical and emotional challenges with your child will depend on your individual circumstances and situation.
And if you are like many of the parents that we see at our practice, you may find yourself feeling totally overwhelmed and wondering where to begin and what to say…
So with that in mind, here are some ideas and suggestions that might be useful to you.
The government is trialing a plan to provide newlywed couples with gift vouches for marriage counselling. They are going to spend 20 million dollars to give couples a $200 subsidy to attend counselling.
From July this year, 100 000 newlyweds will be able to use the vouchers for relationship counselling, conflict resolution, parental education and financial planning.
Social Services Minister Kevin Andrews says that the move will help to promote family stability, creating a better home environment for children.
Realistically, a $200 voucher is only going to cover the cost of a single counselling session or maybe two if one or both people in the couple are eligible for a Mental Health Care Plan through Medicare.
For couples who are generally not distressed and are coping pretty well, a session or two to “check in” seems like a good idea, but what about ongoing support for families who are in distress?
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(*As of 24th July, 2019.)