A Golden Rule of Parenting – Stop Thinking Everything You Do Is Wrong

Our aim with this blog is to help individuals with some of the challenges that come with being a parent or caretaker.


We aim to give professional, impartial and educated advice from our team of psychologists, while citing credible sources and expert references from around the world.

But even if you’re not looking for it and not on this blog, you — like so many others — are likely inundated with parenting advice from every man and their dog on a daily basis…  in the news, on social media, from other parents, or from overheard conversations in cafes!

It’s no wonder that seeking out parenting advice, in general, can be a very overwhelming experience.

So a recent article in The New York Times brings up a single, inspiring piece of advice that can be universal to all concerned parents:

Stop thinking everything you do is wrong.

A survey conducted in the United States this year found that many adults feel that young people today face more hardships than they did when they were young.

Particularly in terms of stress, anxiety, depression and other mental health issues.

This is an interesting reversal of the traditional dynamic, in which adults ‘recall the hardships and dangers of the old days, and conclude that kids these days have it easy’, says paediatrician Dr Matthew M. Davis.

And yet the paradox is understandable…

On the one hand, children are ‘cushioned, shielded [and] protected from the literal and figurative bumps and bruises of the real world playground’.

But on the other, kids are overscheduled, overstressed, and increasingly anxious.

These challenges are often a result of trying to succeed in an increasingly competitive academic climate, with the hopes of gaining employment in an increasingly oversaturated job market.

This contrast leads to a confusion of which parenting approach is best, and an inevitable and ongoing confusion of what kind of parenting style we should adopt.

Do you hover like helicopter parents to protect your children from the difficulties they face, so they can focus on their studies?

Or do you leave them to deal with everything on their own, in the hopes they’ll rise up to the challenge?

Most parents — including yourselves — rightly sit somewhere in the middle.

But there’s always going to be times when unexpected challenges throw your parenting style off course.

This is not a reflection of your parenting as much as a reflection of being human!

And from our point of view, the fact that you’re reading this article, or any article, shows that you’re not doing everything wrong.

Investing the time and energy into researching advice is a testament to your commitment to being the best parent you can be.

The point is:

Congratulate yourself on trying to be the best parent you can be.

Show your child what you believe is right and wrong by example.

And when you slip up in one way or another, forgive yourself and move on, because it’s likely to happen again (and again and again).

Further Reading:

Click here to see how the author of this article deals with the competing approaches to parenting.

Click here for an analysis of the varying parenting styles discussed.

And if you have concerns that you or your child may need a little extra help, call us to schedule a consultation.

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