Behaviour Management

Family Favourites – Is it Harmful to Favour One Child Over Another?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

The idea of having a favourite child is taboo in what many think of as ‘good parenting’.

It’s often considered to be unfair and problematic, and can be a huge source of guilt for loving, conscientious parents.

But a recent article in The New York Times provides some interesting and different ways of thinking about family favouritism.

Author Perry Klass suggests that playing favourites doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s your actions, and not emotions, that can be problematic.

Here are some key points to keep in mind when it comes to favouring one child over another:

Can Video Games Really Improve Academic Performance?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

You may have seen a report in the news recently suggesting a positive link between playing video games and academic performance.

This conclusion came from a study that analysed data from over 12,000 high school students in Australia and it showed that students who played online video games almost every day performed above-average in academic testing.

The study found that gamers scored 15 points higher than average in maths and reading tests, and 17 points higher than average in science.

But the real question is:

Do gamers achieve better results because they play more video games?

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

If you’ve ever visited a psychologist, or even considered it, you’ve probably heard of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

And while the name might sound a little complex, it’s actually one of the most practical, simple, and commonly used approaches to dealing with many types of emotional, behavioural and psychiatric problems.

Plus there’s lots of scientific evidence to support its effectiveness.

But what is it, exactly?

How Can We Raise Unspoilt Children?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

It’s an age-old question that comes up often in our consultations with parents, and it’s not an easy one to answer:

How do we give our children the world, without making them feel entitled to it?

Finding the right balance as a parent will help you to raise a child that will become an independent, confident and capable adult.

Self-Sabotaging Behaviours in Students

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Many students across all levels of academic ability engage in “self-sabotaging behaviours”.

For example, the student who waits until midnight the night before an assignment is due before making a start. Then, when they receive a low grade, will shrug and say “oh well, I left it until the last minute”.

Now in some cases it is intentional but in many cases, it is driven by underlying issues such as anxiety.

Behind presumed lack of organisation or presumed lack of skill, students who engage in self-sabotaging behaviours often have high needs for self-worth protection.

Here are some of the most common self-sabotaging behaviours students engage in:

“But I’ve tried EVERYTHING!” – Rethinking Strategies to Manage Difficult Behaviour

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Whether it is tantrums, anxiety, defiance or any other number of problem behaviours, you want to try everything you possibly can to help your child overcome challenges and thrive.

But trying EVERYTHING in a short space of time is often what tends to happen when desperate parents seek advice from other parents, friends, teachers and professionals…

The common story goes something like this:

“Jack was throwing tantrums and becoming easily upset by small things. We have tried reward charts, time-out, getting him to play more sport, arranging playdates with other children, changing his diet, getting him to bed earlier, giving him more time and attention, talking to his teacher…”

And often the outcome is this:

“Some of the things we tried worked a little bit but he can still get really upset and angry. We’re at our wits end!”

Many of the things you are putting in place might be useful but it is important to think things through before deciding to implement changes in your child’s life.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

The Danger of Using Punishment Instead of Discipline

by Deborah Jepsen

This week I had two clients tell me that their kids had been given detentions at school and I started thinking about the usefulness of detention. This led me to ponder the differences between punishment and effective discipline.

Kids need to to be taught right from wrong. They need to understand that actions have consequences and that certain rules have to be followed.

But how can this be taught without causing more harm than good?

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