Motivation and Success

Family Favourites – Is it Harmful to Favour One Child Over Another?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

The idea of having a favourite child is taboo in what many think of as ‘good parenting’.

It’s often considered to be unfair and problematic, and can be a huge source of guilt for loving, conscientious parents.

But a recent article in The New York Times provides some interesting and different ways of thinking about family favouritism.

Author Perry Klass suggests that playing favourites doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s your actions, and not emotions, that can be problematic.

Here are some key points to keep in mind when it comes to favouring one child over another:

How a Child Psychologist Can Help Children Develop Lifelong Skills

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Parents often book in to see a child psychologist to address a pressing concern with their child.

For example, anxiety, separation, learning difficulties, or bullying in the school yard.

But seeing a psychologist — especially for kids — can also be great for prevention, instead of only being reactive when things are difficult.

And the benefits in terms of life skills learned, can be profound.

In a recent blog post we discussed the long-term benefits of early intervention in the treatment of anxiety.

But did you know that early intervention can also be very helpful for several other types of issues?

Here are three more important benefits to practical, solution-focused counselling for kids:

Can Video Games Really Improve Academic Performance?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

You may have seen a report in the news recently suggesting a positive link between playing video games and academic performance.

This conclusion came from a study that analysed data from over 12,000 high school students in Australia and it showed that students who played online video games almost every day performed above-average in academic testing.

The study found that gamers scored 15 points higher than average in maths and reading tests, and 17 points higher than average in science.

But the real question is:

Do gamers achieve better results because they play more video games?

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

If you’ve ever visited a psychologist, or even considered it, you’ve probably heard of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

And while the name might sound a little complex, it’s actually one of the most practical, simple, and commonly used approaches to dealing with many types of emotional, behavioural and psychiatric problems.

Plus there’s lots of scientific evidence to support its effectiveness.

But what is it, exactly?

How Can We Raise Unspoilt Children?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

It’s an age-old question that comes up often in our consultations with parents, and it’s not an easy one to answer:

How do we give our children the world, without making them feel entitled to it?

Finding the right balance as a parent will help you to raise a child that will become an independent, confident and capable adult.

The secret to raising motivated kids

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Motivation, or the lack thereof, can be a (seemingly) insurmountable barrier to your child’s success.

Every parent wants their child to succeed.

Whether it’s with their schoolwork, socialising or general life skills, we all want the best for them.

And what do most of us do naturally to spur our kids on?

We praise them for being “smart”, “intelligent”, “bright”, “talented”, “creative” and so on…

And often we do this regardless of whether or not they have truly applied their best efforts to the task at hand.

You see, we think that we are somehow boosting their self-confidence and self-esteem by doing this.

But we are wrong.

Self-Sabotaging Behaviours in Students

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Many students across all levels of academic ability engage in “self-sabotaging behaviours”.

For example, the student who waits until midnight the night before an assignment is due before making a start. Then, when they receive a low grade, will shrug and say “oh well, I left it until the last minute”.

Now in some cases it is intentional but in many cases, it is driven by underlying issues such as anxiety.

Behind presumed lack of organisation or presumed lack of skill, students who engage in self-sabotaging behaviours often have high needs for self-worth protection.

Here are some of the most common self-sabotaging behaviours students engage in:

The Impact of Inflated Praise on Motivation

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

“Wow, Tommy that is the best drawing I’ve ever seen!”

“Jessie, you are the best in the class at maths, you did that sum so quickly!”

As parents and educators, you are told that giving a child praise is a great way to improve their motivation, their self-confidence and their perseverance when things get difficult.

“Be specific with your praise!”

“Praise can be even more motivating than rewarding with material things”, many experts espouse.

But recent studies have shown that praise in certain formats may actually have the opposite effect to that which we are trying to achieve.

Researchers looked at the impact of “inflated” praise on children with both low and high self-esteem and found some interesting things:

Successful Goal Setting For Kids

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

What does success mean to you?

…Is it being happy, rich, healthy, or maybe peaceful?

…Is it having a family, running a business, or being able to manage your own work schedule?

…Or maybe a combination of some of these things?

Success is a subjective term as we all value different achievements in different ways.

In the article “Nine Things Successful People Do Differently”, Heidi Halvorson focuses on reaching personal goals as a means to measure success.

Which got me wondering…

Is our perception of success related to having and achieving goals?

How to Help Your Child Survive (And Even Thrive) During VCE – Part 3 of 3

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

(This is the third and final post in this series. Click here for part 1 | Click here for part 2)

What else can I do to help?

Here are some ideas to help your son or daughter stay on top of things and reduce stress levels during the VCE years.

Getting Organised

1. Prepare a schedule

Help your son or daughter come up with a daily and weekly schedule.

Try putting leisure and non-academic activities into the schedule first, such as:

Part-time work
Extracurricular activities
Family time
Time with friends
Time spent relaxing

Then, fit in study blocks (usually 45 minutes) around the activities.

Encourage them to take frequent short breaks away from their desk!

Short breaks should be about 5 minutes for every 40-50 minutes of study.

Breaks should be energising and can involve activities such as:

What else can I do to help?

Getting Organised

1. Prepare a schedule

How can we help?

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