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10 Ways You Can Teach Your Child How to Thrive

A recent article in The Age, “Are you surviving or thriving?”, resonated with me this week. The author mentioned research from more than 10 years ago that suggested only around 17% of adults were thriving and the rest were merely surviving.

This article reminded me that when my son Charlie was born (he’s 19 months-old now), I definitely went into survival mode! It took some time to adjust to the reality of being a new mother. It was a huge change and no amount of reading or advice from other parents could have fully prepared me for the months that followed. I had to learn how to survive as a parent before I could even start thinking about how to thrive again…

Similarly, when parents first bring their children to see me for counselling, they are often in a crisis situation. Something has gone wrong and help is needed. I often start by asking them what is actually working well at the moment. The reason for this is that we first need to focus on their strengths so we can then use these positive qualities to help them resolve their current issues.

But my ultimate goal in counselling is not just to help kids learn to survive or get through a ‘rough patch’ … My aim is always to help kids learn how to thrive.

So how can you teach your child how to thrive?

High-Functioning Autism And Funding

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

The purpose of government funding for students with disabilities is to improve educational outcomes and wellbeing.

Before we go any further, let me just clarify that there is no clear evidence to suggest that Asperger’s Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism (HF Autism) are two separate disorders.* Therefore, I will refer to both as HF Autism.

(* If you want to know more about the difference between Asperger’s Syndrome and HF Autism please read Tony Attwood’s comments on the topic.)

So how can funding help your child with HF Autism?

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Zoe Visits the Psychologist

by Deborah Jepsen

Visiting a Psychologist for the first time can be a bit overwhelming for children.

I have created a presentation here for young children to help explain in a child friendly way what we do!

It is called Zoe visits the Psychologist: A tale about getting help.

I hope this is useful! You can view the presentation here: Zoe-Visits-The-Psychologist.

What to do if Your Teenager Self-Harms – Immediate Strategies For Parents

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

If you have a teenage son or daughter, you might have heard the term “self-harm” whispered in hushed tones by another parent or a teacher.

Some people think it is just a trend which is not to be taken too seriously. But research suggests that self-harm is a a very real and ongoing phenomenon.

Recent estimates report the rates of hospitalisation for self-injury at over 7,000 people per year in Australia. In the decade from 1996 to 2006, the rate of hospitalisation for self-harm went up by 43 percent overall, and this was even higher for females.

And, considering that self-harm is one of the biggest predictors of youth suicide, it is certainly not a problem to sweep under the carpet.

For parents it can be very difficult to understand where this type of behaviour comes from. In fact, it is probably not something you would have even heard about when you were growing up.

Read on to find answers to common questions about self-harm and some practical advice about what to do if your child is self-harming.

The Danger of Using Punishment Instead of Discipline

by Deborah Jepsen

This week I had two clients tell me that their kids had been given detentions at school and I started thinking about the usefulness of detention. This led me to ponder the differences between punishment and effective discipline.

Kids need to to be taught right from wrong. They need to understand that actions have consequences and that certain rules have to be followed.

But how can this be taught without causing more harm than good?

Buyer Beware – Controversial Assessments And Treatments For Learning Problems

by Deborah Jepsen

I must admit I am constantly appalled at the number of highly questionable products and services advertised which claim to diagnose or treat learning disorders but which lack scientific credibility.

Even more disturbing is the way that some organisations are misleading the public by claiming their interventions are effective and citing pseudo-scientific research in support of their dubious claims.

In some cases parents are being persuaded to spend thousands of dollars on programs that claim to treat dyslexia or other learning disorders!

Parents naturally want to find solutions to help their children overcome learning problems, but it’s important to realise there are no “quick fixes” and any such promises should be taken with a very large grain of salt.

Why is Early Intervention for Learning Difficulties so Critical?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Imagine this:

Jack is a little boy who has just started school. He is happy, motivated and eager to learn.

Soon afterwards, Jack’s mother notices that he is struggling to master skills that seem relatively easy for other children. And no matter how hard he tries, he finds it difficult to complete tasks on time.

His self-esteem has taken a hit, too. He is not as confident or as happy as he used to be. He is constantly frustrated and Jack’s mum realises his motivation for school and for learning is quickly fading.

She wonders… What can she possibly do to help?

The Importance of Play and Experiential Learning in Early Childhood

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

I came across an interesting article in The Age this week (Little learners in the rug-rat race) about how parents these days are “facing increasing pressure to begin their child’s education while still in nappies”.

The accelerated early-learning approach and intense focus on a child’s academic achievement made me think of all the young people I see who are developing anxiety about school and academic performance. In particular, there are a growing number of children who require counselling in order to get through the dreaded NAPLAN ordeal!

An accelerated early-learning approach can be problematic when taken to an extreme. This, of course, depends on the format of the teaching and the intensity and how effectively the teaching is balanced with playtime and other activities.

Sure, some degree of structured learning from a young age can be beneficial. But it’s important to understand that young children need unstructured play and experiential learning to grow and develop to their full potential.

Is Your Child’s Anxiety Making You Anxious?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

We all experience some degree of anxiety from time to time.

Anxiety is a general, unpleasant emotional and physical state of heightened arousal. It may be caused by thoughts about a past or current event or a potential future threat.

When faced with a genuine imminent danger or threat, being anxious is a completely normal reaction. The so-called “fight-or-flight” response primes the body for action and enables a quick and powerful response.

In fact, at low-to-moderate levels, anxiety can be useful and adaptive. Occasional levels of mild anxiety can even help to improve performance.

However, when a child is suffering from sustained levels of anxiety that interfere with their daily activities or healthy development, this is a more serious problem that must be addressed to avoid more serious long term harm.

So what is an excessive level of anxiety?

3 Great Apps to Help Children With Emotional or Social Issues

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

We are often asked to recommend apps to help children manage stress or overcome social difficulties. Here are three apps that kids seem to love and that have some fun and inventive ways of helping them cope!

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