How to Help the Negative or Pessimistic Child

We’ve all encountered a ‘Negative Nancy’ in our lives —  the type of person who is constantly expecting the worst out of any given situation.

While many such people consider themselves ‘realists’, in reality, there’s not a whole lot of benefit to this kind of negative thinking.

And for the relatively sheltered and protected time of childhood, this attitude is particularly unproductive.

So how can we help a pessimistic child to take a more positive approach to life?

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Tips for Raising Moral Children — From Harvard Psychologists

We’ve talked about how to raise motivated children children on the blog…

How to help them develop good habits, how to be happy, how to thrive in school, how to avoid becoming too materialistic

But the question of how to raise moral children is a different ball game. 

Just like these other positive qualities and habits we hope to encourage in our kids, morality isn’t something we’re born with — it’s learnt.

And the fact of the matter is that sometimes, teaching our children moral lessons will get in the way of their immediate happiness. 

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Why We Should Avoid Asking ‘Why?’

When children exhibit behaviour we disapprove of or don’t understand, one thing often comes to mind (and from our mouths)…

Why?

‘Why haven’t you done your homework?’ 

‘Why did you leave your clothes on the floor?’

‘Why aren’t you playing with your friends today?’

The list of curiosities and questions goes on and on, likely on a daily basis.

But there’s a good reason why we should avoid asking why, says our staff psychologist Christina Rigoli, and it’s all about clarity of communication.

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Why Parents Should Feel Good About Saying ‘NO’ to Their Children

Saying ‘no’ frequently to your young children may be the opposite of your parental instincts.

But according to Georgia Manning ‑ counsellor, psychotherapist and the director of Wellbeing For Kids ‑ saying ‘no’ to your kids is one of the best things you can do for them.

Manning puts this down to the fact that many parents have shied away from saying ‘no’ to their children because of the ‘self-esteem movement’, where anything that could potentially damage a child’s self-esteem was frowned upon.

But as a result, ‘the pendulum has swung too far’.

‘We’ve gone from not being emotionally attuned with our children to thinking that protecting them from any discomfort or things that they don’t want to do is a way of showing love.’

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Should Parents Get Involved in Their Kid’s Friendships?

All parents want to protect their children from the challenges that life throws at them.

And navigating the complicated and highly emotional world of friendship-forming is no different.

But like most ongoing processes of life and growing up, there’s only so much you can do to support their journey, and getting too involved can often do more harm than good.

‘Parents need to view these situations as opportunities to teach their child valuable life lessons‘, says friendship expert Dana Kerford.

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Social Media: Are You Monitoring Your Own Public Profile?

Social media is a largely unavoidable aspect of modern life.

And the ways parents monitor their children’s social media presence varies greatly…

Some insist on being ‘online friends’, some sneak through their child’s profiles without their knowing (a post for another day), or some ban social media completely.

But with all the focus we put on trying to protect our children from the many implications of a social media presence…

How much time are we taking to look at the impact of our own?

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How Do We Help Children to Deal with Grief?

Losing a loved one is a heartbreaking experience at any age.

And watching our children go through the process can make the experience even more devastating.

It’s a parent’s natural urge to want to shield their children from pain and sadness.

But this isn’t realistic — not during childhood, and not during adulthood.

Loss and sadness are inevitable parts of life, but teaching your children positive and productive coping mechanisms will help them through the process in the short and long term.

So how do we deal with a grieving child?

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The Supermarket Study: Education in the Real World

We tend to think of school as the main source of our children’s education.

However, for many children, formal classroom time only takes up around 20 per cent of their lives!

And while it’s the role of teachers to take charge of your children’s education, there’s so much you can do to encourage learning and important cognitive developments outside of school.

And the supermarket — surprisingly — is a great place to start.

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Is Your Child Suffering, or are You?

An interesting article in The Age recently brought up concerns regarding parents who may be unnecessarily anxious about their children’s health.

The article cited a recent survey that showed that 75 per cent of pediatric specialists said many of their referrals could have been handled exclusively by the referring GP.

The relevant issue at hand here is that parents are increasingly seeking out specialist support for normal issues in childhood development…

Common issues such as bed-wetting, constipation, and even concerns about their children’s height.

This speaks to an increasing anxiety among parents, and their quest to ensure their child is developing ‘normally’.

Understandably, this kind of pattern of anxious parenting comes up not only in the physical development of the child, but also their emotional and psychological development.

So how can we know when we’re self- or over-diagnosing our children?

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What Do You Do if Your Child is the Bully?

Bullying is likely to affect your child during some part of their young lives.

In fact, Government-funded research showed that one in four students will encounter bullying during their school years.

Yet the frequency with which bullying occurs doesn’t diminish the significance of its impact.

And as heartbreaking as it can be when your own child is the victim of bullying, learning that they may be the perpetrator can be an even bitterer pill to swallow.

But when it comes to bullying — on whichever side of the coin — it’s important to address the issues at hand, as soon as possible.

So what should we consider when we think our own child may be the bully?

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  • Child and adolescent experts: We only work with school age children, teenagers and parents.
  • Education and school experts: We will help you navigate the school system to get the best possible results for your child.
  • Qualified and experienced: We only employ psychologists with a master degree or higher and experience working in schools.
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  • Trusted methods: We use approaches that are strongly supported by research evidence or clinical experience.
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