Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

A Parent’s Prerogative: You Have the Right to Change Your Mind

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Experts will say that one of the worst things you can do when parenting any child (from two to eighteen years) is to engage in battle and come out second best.

“You will undermine your authority”, they say.

“You are rewarding bad behaviour”, they tutt-tutt.

But, surely there are those occasions in life when it is okay (and sometimes necessary) to back down or change your mind when dealing with others? In adults, a person who can admit they were wrong is often looked upon with respect. So, why can’t we demonstrate this quality to our children? What if some fresh information has come to light? Are we going to pig-headedly refuse to rethink our position purely because we are trying to teach our children a lesson?

So, how can we tread the fine line between flexibility and rigidity, between being open-minded and being a “pushover”? Here are some things to consider…

The Benefits of Outdoor Education for Teenagers: A First-Hand Account

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

A few years back, I agreed to take on the challenge of acting as leader on an outdoor education trip with a group of Year Nine students. Twelve teenage girls, a trained outdoor education leader, and me. Although I had no formal outdoor education training, I’d always been a fan of camping and was under the perception (misapprehension?) that I was pretty tough. My role was to be the “pastoral care” leader or to play the “big sister” role to this group of teenagers, while the other leader was able to provide them with the practical skills that they would need to survive in the great outdoors.The trip was not your average five day camp. It was 30 days of hiking, biking and kayaking. No showers, no ipods, no phones. Braving the elements and carrying everything on our backs with regular food drops every few days. No contact with home, save for one “letter drop” when the campers would receive correspondence from family and friends at the halfway point of the trip.

“All the Other Kids Have One!” – How and Why Social Pressure Affects Kids

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

“It’s not fair Dad, all the other kids are allowed to go to the party!”

“Harry’s Mum is so much nicer than you. How come he got a new Xbox!??”

“Lisa and Jack are allowed to stay up until nine thirty, so why can’t I?”

Sound familiar?

I’d be hard pressed to find one parent who hasn’t heard such guilt-inducing arguments from their child at some point!

And, it would also be hard to find a parent who hasn’t been swayed by such arguments from time to time…

So, why are these arguments so compelling? Why do we care? How do we find the strength in ourselves to dismiss such social pressure, not to mention, convincing our children to do the same?

Read on to find out…

How to Reduce Sibling Rivalry

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Parents are often concerned about their children fighting and arguing with each other.

Excessive fighting can be very frustrating and can cause severe stress for parents and children alike.

Jealousy problems often start soon after the birth of a younger sibling (in some cases, even before the younger sibling is born).

Although sibling rivalry usually decreases as children grow older and develop better language and social skills, the conflict between siblings often continues throughout childhood and sometimes even into adulthood.

In a moment I’ll share some strategies to help reduce the conflict. But first, let’s take a quick look at the problem and its causes.

How To Talk With Your Teenager Effectively – 5 Helpful Tips

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Adolescence is a transitional period from childhood into adulthood. It is a period of physical, cognitive, emotional, and social changes, that frequently result in confusion. As it is a period of self-discovery, it’s normal for teenagers to experiment with friendships, activities, substances, and sexuality. In search of their identity and independence, teenagers often push their limits, confronting parents, teachers, and any other authority figure.

However, teenagers are not all bad. They are curious, fun, and intense! They are in a very vulnerable stage, and they need the support, care, and guidance from adults.

To help your child and yourself to survive their teenage years, you need to have a strong relationship with them (one in which you are involved in their life, but you are not their best friend – they still need to see you as an authority). Effective communication is the foundation of a strong relationship between you and your teenager.

Here are my top 5 tips to effectively communicate with teens.

Counselling for children: Working with parents

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Counselling helps children understand, manage and overcome many different personal challenges. Some of the most common problems parents come to seek advice for include anxiety, anger, and difficulties with friendships.

In counselling sessions we will work on your child’s self-esteem and empowering them so they can work towards achieving their personal goals. However, often we need to work in collaboration with parents so the work we do during counselling is supported and reinforced at home.

Why do I like to work with kids?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

As an educational and developmental psychologist, I am often asked by friends, family, and parents, why I have chosen to work with children.

When I get asked this question, my immediate thought is: why wouldn’t I like to work with kids?!

I love it! There are thousands of reasons why I think helping children and their families is the best job in the world, but I will focus on my top four.

What Should I Do If My Child is Resistant to Counselling?

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

One of the most common questions we encounter as Child and Adolescent Psychologists is “What can I do if my child doesn’t want to come to counselling?”.

This is very common and the child’s attitude can range from a little bit of trepidation to full blown refusal.

It can be tempting to give in and hope that all the concerns you have about your child’s emotional and mental wellbeing will just blow over and resolve themselves. But, more often than not, the very fact that the child is resistant to counselling is a sign that something is troubling them that they might find uncomfortable to face.

So, what should you do and say to them? And, of equal importance, what should you NOT do or say?

Dyslexia in Children – Some Helpful Facts

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

There are many myths and misconceptions about dyslexia.

In fact, it’s a very complex and confusing topic for parents and educators alike…

So this week I decided to answer some common questions we get asked about dyslexia in children.

What is Dyslexia?

The word “dyslexia” literally means “difficulty with words”. Its meaning comes from the Greek roots:

DYS – impaired, difficulty with, or inability to; and
LEXIS – word.

In fact, there has never been a single, broadly accepted scientific definition of dyslexia as a specific disorder and it has been used mainly as a general term applied to anyone who has difficulty with reading or who tends to confuse or mix up sequences of letters and numbers.

Children’s Smart Phone And Tablet Use Linked With Weaker Literacy Skills

by Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services

Research recently conducted by the National Literacy Trust in the UK examined the relationship between children’s literacy skills and the proportion of reading time on electronic displays, such as tablets, smartphones and ebook readers.

The main finding of this study was that young children and adolescents who read printed books (either exclusively or in addition to reading on screens) were 68% more likely to have above-average reading skills than those who read only on screens.

Unfortunately, a summary of this research was published in the Daily Mail in the UK under a completely misleading headline: “Children who read on iPads or Kindles have weaker literacy skills and are less likely to enjoy it as a pastime, charity warns”.

But is it really possible that reading on screens can impair children’s reading ability?

What is Dyslexia?

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